Luna's Corner: A More Personal Look

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A Journal Entry. Photo by Alena Koval from Pexels

Hello my darling kinksters,

I have given it some thought and realized that I have been providing quite a bit of information based on lessons learned but not so much about the experience behind it all. I want to rectify that!

While I do already have some more personal posts, I haven't delved too much into what it has been like actually experiencing the world of kink. It definitely has its own ups and downs, joys and pains, and more. There's a need for material to help make informed decisions, especially for those new to the community or just new to a particular aspect of kink. But, sometimes it's easy to forget that it can be intimidating at first.

It's actually quite easy to dip your toes into the kinky pool but feel out of place amongst those that are diving off tall boards, participating in synchronized swims with their partner or partners, and surfing the wave pool like its a breeze. As with anything, we can fall prey to the doubt that tells us we don't fit in, that we aren't really kinky, that we are way in over our heads and will just make fools of ourselves, that we will be patronized for our "cute, not so intense kinks", and so on. These are all things I've either heard from others or experienced myself.

In fact, I now have an interesting mix of moments where people dipping their toes in look at me like I am some more experienced, much more intense kinky person. Which bemuses me since I still have many, many moments where I look at those around me and find myself wishing I had that courage, that skill, that dynamic, or thinking to myself I must seem almost vanilla in comparison. That mix is part of what has made me realize that whether you are brand new to the world of kink or a seasoned member, we are all in our own journeys.

As humans, we are social creatures. And as social creatures, we take cues from those around us and try to fit in. The urge to start a comparison game is strong in our vanilla lives, as is, but something about the beauty and intensity of kink seems to make it so much easier to fall to the taunting call of such comparisons. But the world of kink is not a place for such things, at least in my experience when I take a moment to stand back and breathe.

The world of kink is one of the most accepting, diverse communities I am a part of. I have learned to be more confident, more comfortable with myself, my body, and my mind. There are people to find common ground with, from all sorts of walks in life, and just as many that find beauty in similar things or in you. It is both a humbling and exhilarating realization to have sink in.

Not only is the community more likely to be accepting overall (there are, after all, social circles and traits that infiltrate any and all communities), but one that is steeped in traditions. Kind of strange to think of that, isn't it? A community that breaks with what is considered traditional to enjoy the taboo but at the same time has formed its own traditions to guide, to welcome, to envelope, to grow. In fact, one that tends to be fairly prevalent is that of passing the torch so to speak.

During my first few months out in an actual community space, I met and learned from many people from different kinks and identities. Yes, there are those that still try to force labels on others and demand that things be a certain way. But the greater part of my experience has been people celebrating your journey and some even actively encouraging it. I, in fact, had a couple of amazing mentors that either from my (albeit, shy) request or of their own accordance, shared their own stories and lessons learned to help me grow. One of my mentors, for instance, gifted me my first floggers and pervertables to use in my journey as a D-type. Another taught me how braid leather, simply because I was curious about the way they made their implements even though I wasn't in the process of learning leatherwork. Though, I will always cherish the memory that accompanies the "pen whip" I have that I like to be silly with since its something I helped make.

All of this is to say that its been way more than just the lessons learned and skills gained. It runs so much deeper, so much more intimately within our hearts and minds. It is part of us in some way, whether its more of a hobby, a passion, or a lifestyle. No matter where we are in our kink journey, we are all still learning but most importantly we are all still connecting some way, some how.

So, after much thought, I hope to let myself a bit more vulnerable to allow others to see the other side of the scene. To go beyond that of spectator, into the spirit of what is happening, has happened, and will happen. To show that its all a mixture of nerves and excitement, of new mixed with familiar, of planning yet going with the flow, of mastery combined with the humility of still figuring things out either within ourselves or together.

I will continue to post about lessons learned so as to continue covering safety, variety, and so on. But I also intend to hopefully bring down that veil that sometimes falls when we look at the community or bits of it through fresh eyes. To remember that we all, and I do mean all, start somewhere and that even a Master - be it whips, a slave, tickling, whatever - has room to grow.

Here's to much growth, much adventure, much joy, much dancing with the darker desires that may burn in our mind and body.

If you want to get a more intimate perspective on my experience, I will be posting what will for now be known as "Luna's Corner" posts. This may change with time in terms of name or prominence, but if one thing I have mulled over most these past weeks is that sometimes we need to embrace change to grow and sometimes we just need to steel ourselves, hold our breath, and jump. Because if we keep just dipping in our toes, shying away from what promises us passion (kinky or otherwise) then we are only pushing down a part of ourselves we might miss not getting to know.

Let's see what the future holds, what this journey holds. Until the next time, stay safe and take care and hold close your passions!

With much love,

Lunissa

❤❤❤

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