It’s been a while! Also, an anal-ogy

Hello again everyone! My, how the time has flown by! Thankfully, things should be calming down now a bit more so I should be more regular in posting. Also, hope you enjoyed that subtle (perhaps not so subtle) pun in the title this week!

Now, if there is one thing I am taking away from all of this self care and taking time to right myself on my own personal journey is to not rush! You would think that would be obvious, but whether vanilla or kink it is easy to get swept up in things. In terms of kink, I learned the hard way that there most definitely is such a thing as going too fast even if you’re all amped up and ready to take it all on! It’s like anal. And no, I did not learn my lesson from anal though it did help make things click into place.

So, a weird analogy but it works in a way. It’s kinky and pleasurable and fun and amazing and… potentially painful and damaging if you don’t know what you’re doing or don’t take your time. You don’t want to rush into it your first time even though you’re excited or you’re going to end up with some pain and or regrets. Take it slow. Just dip your finger in, get a feel for the experience and see where you’re at and how it suits you. Not your thing? Ok, good. Onto a plug. Ready for more? Don’t pull out the gigantic black dildo just yet! You know the one. Work your way up the path of pleasure and bliss!

It’s all a journey and there is bound to be some uncertainty and discomfort but there should never be any true pain. Exploring kink can lead to chasing physical, emotional, mental pains and perhaps even permanent reminders because it led to pleasure or desire through it (floggers and needles and clamps, oh my!); it shouldn’t lead to debilitating, unwanted pain because the goal, after all, is ultimately pleasure of some sort. First few times exploring will take some time to warm up and be able to fully enjoy the experience, whether that be trying something new or building up to something like a more intense flogging or whipping or something more edgy. Some days it may feel more uncomfortable than usual and that is perfectly fine! Listen to your body, mind, heart, and soul because kink can go deep and we are human with needs constantly changing, adapting, surprising. Perhaps you surprise yourself by being ready for something and it feels really, really good! Don’t go rushing into other, bigger, better things! And if you do? Remember, there shouldn’t be pain. Take a break and a breather and lube up your experience perhaps with more conversations, research, practice, guidance, whatever it may be. Never hesitate to have more than you need. There’s no such thing as too much. On that note, invest in good quality lube. There’s a lot of people who will try to push or mislead you and the same goes for untrustworthy sources. Be discerning and learn all you can and want. There’s not really any rush in the journey of a lifetime in kink.

That’s another part of rushing – missing the signs or ignoring them. Just like anal, our bodies will tell us what we need. Ignore the pain and keep pushing through? You can cause short term, long term, or even permanent damage. With some kinks, it can even cause death and then how would you have all of that fun and pleasure? It’s not a competition. You don’t have to be the kinkiest person in the world that can take all the things just like you don’t have to take the biggest object up your butt. Unless you’re into that sort of thing in which case by all means enjoy you gigantic dildo of kink! But it’s still your decision, your experience, your body, your soul. Listen to yourself. Never quiet your inner voice just to please others or prove yourself or any other such thing. Kink is done because you want it, not because it’s for someone else even if you are on your knees under someone’s will. You still made that choice to be there and give that gift. Never forget that or why you’re doing it (hint: because your kinky soul demands it!)

One last bit to take away from all of this is to also go at the pace of the slowest partner!! I can’t stress this enough. Remember how I said to take it slow and warm up rather than rush and ruin the pleasure? Afford others the same please. It will be worth it, I can nearly guarantee it! Kink can expose our minds and bodies to some risky things that can alter us physically, mentally, and spiritually. Rushing and pushing through can open us up to some rather big consequences, be it our own, others, or on behalf of each other. Those consequences carry a heavy burden that can’t always be lessened if it’s severe enough. Again, the ultimate goal of exploring these dark spaces of our minds is to have fun and find pleasure. Do not hesitate to explore your inner dark desires, just don’t go chasing them in a frenzy when the rush has unable to think straight and running into a tree, or worse, off a cliff or worse causing someone else to do so. Again, what fun would there be had if you or your play partner simply cannot continue as much as it might pain you two. Or three, four, etc. The more the merrier but also more important to be careful and aware of each others needs, wellbeing. It’s all about having fun with leather and floggers and power dynamics and tickling and humiliation and blood and little space and so many, many other personal interests and kinks. Because that’s what makes us unique and powerful and happy.

So until the next time, have fun and dare to explore your inner darkness for your pleasure! Just remember to keep your self safe and at your own pace so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else.

Love always,

Miss Lunissa

#BDSM #Frenzy #Safety #SelfCare