Bottoms & Subs & Slaves, Oh My!

Welcome back! For today, I wanted to talk a bit about the s-types of D/s dynamics. So, to start off what are some of the differences? After all, they can sound similar but the power dynamics vary and will depend on a person’s natural tendencies. From bottoms to subs to slaves, however, it should be Safe, Sane, and Consensual even as the power dynamic shifts more heavily towards the more dominant role.

Let’s start with bottoms. Bottoms are the lower part of a dynamic occurring within a play session or scene and hold quite a bit of power. This dynamic usually only occurs within these limited periods of time and with negotiations beforehand. Bottoms still enjoy being dominated but if and only when they want it.

Meanwhile, submissives go a little deeper into submission than bottoms. They submit to their dominant, whether that be part time or full time. A submissive still has access to a safeword but will let go and let there dominant take over to do as they please. They typically refer to their Dominant as simply as their Dom or their Sir unless decided on otherwise. Submission at this level tends to occur even beyond the bedroom but still with the ability to say no when and if they please.

Lastly, a slave is a much more psychologically complex dynamic compared to being a submissive in some peoples eyes because of the dynamic it creates and how far it can go. They will refer to their Dominant as a Master or Mistress. The best way I had someone sum up the difference is that a submissive submits but a slave will surrender. Slaves surrender because they give their Master or Mistress complete control and trust them to do what is best for them. They still have power in the sense that they can step back and renegotiate if something goes wrong but will mostly trust that their life is in good hands. Surrender tends to occur beyond the bedroom as well and depending on the dynamic may also be part of their work, grooming, and more. Although slaves cannot say no in the typical way, they usually still have the ability to express concerns and trust that their Master will move forward to do what is best for them as a slave and as a person.

Of course, as with any of the identifiers you may come across and come to connect with, these titles will have general inherent similarities and expectations but will be unique to you in the sense that when, what, where, how, why, and for how long will all be a personal decision hopefully after adequate communication with your play partner. Perhaps certain dynamics combine depending on the relationship or there is one dynamic for the bedroom and another for daily life. It just goes to show how important communication is to build trust and a connections so you can enter your dynamic with consent, a connection, and above all satisfaction in a way that fits your kinks, your relationship. After all, in the end it feels good to feel free to explore and be your fullest, truest, darkest self!

#BDSM #submissive #Vocabulary #Ds #slave #Switch